Our regards to Katherine Furman of Sterling Publishing for:
1) Being so dedicated to the books she helped publish that she dressed as the cover of one.
2) Being so dedicated to the books she helped publish that she’ll probably go home with that tranny in the background to sell one.

XO,
someecards

Even though it hasn’t yet passed the “Asian Boobs” app in downloads, our new iPhone app has some great non-bosomy features:

-Get the newest cards as they go live (content updates every time you load the app)
-Save cards as favorites
-Enjoy all the same categories that are offered on someecards.com
-Send something obnoxious from any questionable location!

The app will be updated regularly so we’d appreciate any feedback below. For example, should we consider adding images of Asian womens’ bare breasts? (And if you like the app, please spread the word!)

EXHIBIT A

EXHIBIT B

Not anymore! Just pick your pre-made poster, wrap it around your torso, and focus on your binge drinking. Every body-poster leaves your genitals unhindered for peeing and intercourse!

GET YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW >>

Tired of people not showing up for things? With our brand new invitation system, your events will seem much more fun to everyone who still probably won’t bother coming! Here are some features:
-Turn any card into an invite (just look for “invite” tab below it)
-Find a continuously growing set of invitations for specific events (rollover “invite” in top navigation to see categories)
-You and all your guests can comment and add cards to the event’s Party Wall

TRY IT OUT AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK BELOW!

**CLICK ON IMAGE BELOW FOR LARGER VIEW**

And here’s the response to the App Store’s email, written by The Dirty Harry of Electronic Greeting Cards and Social Gestures, someecards co-founder Duncan Mitchell.

**CLICK ON IMAGE BELOW FOR LARGER VIEW**

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK BELOW! AND FEEL FREE TO SEND OBJECTIONABLE CARDS TO THE APP APROVAL PEOPLE AT appreview@apple.com!

If you like someecards.com, you’re going to feel exactly the same or better about the someecards books! These best-of, tear-out postcard collections are affordable, entail very little reading, and make the perfect gifts for friends, relatives, coworkers, or anyone you just occasionally like to sleep with.

BUY AT AMAZON >>

BUY AT BARNES & NOBLE >>

Earn up to dozens of dollars a week as a contributing writer for someecards.com! Applicants should:
1) Read this carefully – please don’t submit stuff that doesn’t fit our format.
2) Be awesome.
3) Be very familiar with the site’s voice or deeply skilled at pretending to be.
Contributors will be mostly writing for the “somewhat topical” category. Thus, the assignment: create 8 cards for the somewhat topical category in user cards. Send links to those cards in an email to jobs@someecards.com with a subject line like “my aunt loves your site and you should hire her!!!” or “writing submission.” It is due by the end of September. Thanks and good luck!

Your favorite ecards are now available on lots of things you hold, wear, hang, shuffle, and occasionally fondle. We’ll be regularly adding new cards and products to the store, so don’t panic if your personal picks aren’t available yet. And if you know someone who drinks coffee, uses a computer, or has an upper torso, don’t forget to stop by the store when you need to buy them a unique gift!

VISIT THE STORE >>

What do you want to tell the president on his upcoming birthday (Aug 4th)? You think he looks hot for 48? You don’t quite understand his health care reform? You need a presidential pardon within the next 15 minutes? Just send any of our Obama Birthday Cards with your personal message to obamasbday@someecards.com and we’ll handle the rest. Plus, we’ll pick the best messages – based on our own random criteria – to be published here and in THE HUFFINGTON POST!

SEND OBAMA A BIRTHDAY CARD >>

WATCH THE VIDEO ECARDS >>

-your own inbox of sent, received, created, and favorited cards
-dynamically built address book
-simpler/sleeker navigation of categories and holidays
-quick view and quick send of cards while browsing
-enhanced search
-scheduled card sends
-card pickup notifications
-profile pictures
-other things not included in this somewhat tiresome list!

Come back here to post comments about how happy, relieved, confused, annoyed, and even sexually aroused you are by the new site! We’ll read all your responses, and continually be improving the site with enhanced functionality and new features. It was your feedback over the past year that helped guide us in this relaunch – so if you dislike anything about the new site, maybe blame yourself!

Thanks,
someecards staff

For the 11 people still paying attention, someecards would like to formally congratulate Martha Stewart on her inevitable feat of reaching 500,000 Twitter followers before us. Martha ran a remarkable campaign – always sticking to the positive, barely acknowledging the event, and mostly tweeting about trees. Should anyone feel the need to directly mock us for losing, we suggest creating a card here. And if you happen to speak to Martha, please find out what she wants for winning. We’re thinking either ecards or drapes.

1st prize winner: JOSH FAHEY OF HIGH POINT, NORTH CAROLINA

2nd prize winner: SOMEONE OF SOMEWHERE (awaiting info)

3rd prize winner: MAREN WILKER OF NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE

*That is, except for the “surprise” t-shirt we previously mentioned which appears below! It will be awarded to the 1st prize winner and be available for sale next week at the usual place.